how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Randomize
