how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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