I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
do herpes really smell.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Randomize
