i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
