My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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