its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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