I think my fart just growled at me.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
