i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
