babies were throwing up all over the place
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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