But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
