Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
