So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
