he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
