he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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