Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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