is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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