I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
