all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
