i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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