Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
