I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
