Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
