Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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