Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
