so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Shame - the story of my life.
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