she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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