shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Then you guys just all showered together...?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
