thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
