It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
