Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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