You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
