i just wanna soil my oats bro
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
