Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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