I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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