Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Randomize
