I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
