i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
