Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
