your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I'm jealous of your bromance
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Randomize
