Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
