yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
