The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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