it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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