All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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