Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Randomize
