Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
