hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
