You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
