Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
