You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
