listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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